What should I be for Halloween?
I haven’t been on here in a while (I’ve been watching A LOT of hockey). I seriously think I might be obsessed (I’ve got lots of homework to do).
I’m not really in the mood to write, so here’s a funny story I read in The Toike Oike:
NEW LAW CHANGES CALCULUS
The House of Commons passed a bill yesterday concerning the branch of mathematics known as calculus. The bill stated that, in Canada, calculus will henceforth be known as "crazy shit". Publishers will be notified immediately and all future editions of documents containing the word calculus will institute the new terminology.
The bill is the baby of proud father, Joe Fontana, MP of London North Centre. Mr. Fontana has been attempting to establish this bill for over a decade. Under the Canadian system, members of parliament draw numbers at the beginning of each 4-year term, dictating the order in which they may introduce bills. In the past 2 terms, by some flaw in the system, Mr. Fontana drew pi and e respectively, and since neither of these is an integer, he did not have the opportunity to introduce his bill up until now.
"The decision to pass the bill was almost unanimous," Mr. Fontana boasts. "Most of the members of the House have backgrounds in political science, law and other such non-mathematical fields, and we’re sick of engineers, scientists and, especially, mathematicians confusing us with their nonsensical blabber.
Jessica and I went to the opera Friday night to see Carmen. The show was amaaaaaazzzzing. We had amazing seats way up at the front. It was funny because all the rich couples behind us were so upset when we walked by to get to our better seats. Anyway, it was amazing. Absolutely amazing opera. It was soo fun to get to go to a formal event.
Let’s talk hockey, here are 10 things I’ve noticed since the start of the season:
1) Ovechkin is ridiculously talented.
2) Mario Lemieux is better than Wayne Gretzky (yah, i said it).
3) Shootouts are exciting.
4) Luongo, when are you coming to Toronto?
5) I want Mats Sundin and Pat Quinn to be my best friends.
6) Sundin, it really hurt me to see you go down like that. I can’t imagine the Leafs without you or you without the Leafs. Please don’t ever play for anywhere else but Toronto, I’d be absolutely devastated and heartbroken.
7) Quinn, please don’t ever coach for anywhere else but Toronto, I’d be absolutely devastated and heartbroken.
8) Pronger is pound-for-pound the best defenceman in the league.
9) Nashville has a really good team.
10) Other than Iginla and Kiprusoff who’ll carry them for a while, Calgary is overrated.
I have a confession: Deep down, I love smog advisories…they mean that it’s gonna be a hot day.
I feel terrible about it.