Rules 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Rule 18: You become what you measure.

How you measure success determines where you go because you optimize your choices around it, affecting your thought process and decision making on a daily basis. It is important that you choose a measure that is in line with where you want to end up — with who you want to be, completely. It must be explicitly linked to what you really want.

Rule 19: You have no responsibility whatsoever to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish.

It is their mistake, not your failing. RPF.

Rule 20: Having an opinion is hard work.

You must know the other arguments as well as the biggest supporters do. And you must be willing to change your mind as you learn.

Rule 21: You cannot selectively numb.

When you numb sorrow, sadness or anger, you are also numbing joy, excitement, calmness and love. Be careful. Numbing comes in various forms: drugs, food, work, perfectionism, solitude.

Rule 22: The purpose of life is connection.

Connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame is simply the fear of disconnection. Connection requires you to fully embrace vulnerability.

Rule 23: Be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is essential to connection and wholehearted living. Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and worthiness, but it is the birthplace of joy, creativity, love and connection. Beware of numbing. Joy is the most vulnerable emotion because embracing it means accepting its inevitable loss. Focus on gratitudes, not on rehearsing tragedy.